Last Comments About Me...Then The Fun Can Start

Hi.... This last month, folks, has been the most difficult I've had in years. It cost me a great deal. I won't share here in this forum, but if you're interested, e-mail is how I'd prefer it anyway. Suffice it to say that the ONLY way to get past life's occasional bullshit is to take those steps forward, one at a time, and know that it will end. There hasn't been a day since Labor Day that I haven't experienced a moment of crying like a damned baby. But I'm still here. Still vital, hopefully, and still wanting to share my own views on life and love and fun with all of you.

I ask your patience here as I dive back into the fray. As time passes, there will be folks that I miss that maybe some of you would like to see here. Just share the sites, and we'll see about accomodating.

Smile.

Okay...

....Welcome, folks. Now...I expect all of you to be as open as you've ever been in your blogging lives...sexually and otherwise. We learn from each other as well as enjoy. I need both right now. Bring it on....all of it. Smother me...I need it badly!

Going Private Myself, Friends

I ache to say this, but people have changed. All the saps ooze out of the woodwork and criticize when you are honest and want to share. SO....

I am finally taking my blog to a private place. I would dearly love to invite as many of you to come along as are interested. It's going to happen in the next day or so. At least that way, we won't have to endure comments like "you sad old man..." and so on. I love you all for your spirit, and I will continue to do so in this new way. At least until the tide changes.

Testing the Waters Again

.....Throughout my recent travails, my sex drive has never really disappeared, although it has been on the back burner. When trouble comes and folks turn to sex for relief, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that at all...it's one of those tools that we have to cope. The problem is when you are alone and want/need the attention...the real relief comes when you can share it with whomever you please. And it's a damned shame that such a gift requires discretion on occasion. The Nirvana that I always see harkens back to the attitude of the hippie/commune days, where it could be shared without shame. Responsibly, of course, but still belonging to you. That outlook is a pretty solitary one nowadays, but for a select few.

So I'm alone for now. And slowly coming back. And available for parties. Or conversation. Dipping my toe in the pool, hoping someone will say "Come on in, the water's fine."

The Past Couple of Weeks

....have been among the most difficult I've seen in years. I won't talk about them much here; I'll be happy to share in private. But if I can offer something....

Don't EVER take anything for granted. Anything. In the end, I will be in a much better place, but I can surely say with all confidence that you plant the seeds of friendship as you GO. You don't just say to yourself "Oh, she'll help me....he'll understand....they'll get it." No... friendship (and I ain't talkin' about the 'benefits' kind) has to be respected and cultivated and offered back and reciprocate itself. My recent experiences have taught me harshly what friendship really is... and how one needs to remain vigilant and aware to know them.

I don't often sound much of a cautionary note; I'm much more positive and willing to dive into any situation the vast majority of the time. And I know my own spirit -- I will get that way again. As I continue to settle in and find my path again, I will get to be myself again. Right now, I'm on the rebound from a lot of things I didn't expect. I'm scared...but I'm still here. And I hope that those of you, men and women out here, will drop a note and say hello. I'm a little afraid of the dark right now.

But I'll be with you shortly.

Here

Made it. Exhausted and looking for an anchor. But I made it. When the energy allows, I'll articulate. Thanks for your patience.

Still Challenging

To those of you who are interested....thank you for the moral support. Yes, I do have a place to go, but not until the weekend. You discover in crisis who your friends are, and I have discovered that a very few of those friendship seeds have truly taken root. But I'm still here. I slept in my car with Jake the dog last night and am sitting outside a coffeeshop, where I can tap into the Wifi feed....Never thought I'd be in this position as this point in my life. I have been totally embarrassed to share this with people and afraid of their reaction. But as I have shared with you ad nauseum, you are no good to anyone until you can first take care of yourself. I just want to get to Friday. Don't yet have all the cash I need, but you never know.

I hope that you all are taking care of each other in the process. I've never asked this of anyone in my entire life, but I am asking now for a small token of support from the universe. Just get me to Friday.