"...I Just Can't Do This..."

Those of you who follow me here on a regular basis will come to the conclusion that I have great big balls....that is, I am fearless when it comes to putting myself out there for the women in the world. I realized in my youth (probably because of the reinforcement that happens during that time in our lives) that I was not the most attractive man. I'm certainly not repulsive, but I learned to depend on other developing skills to appeal to others. Conversation. Attitude. Humor. Respect. And to this day, those are my bywords in life. Occasionally, however, I get reminded....

I have experienced my share of dating services. Some worked, some didn't. I had the best luck on a telephone dating service (we'll keep its name quiet) I first contacted about five years ago. My ability to use the English language has always been a saving grace for me. Now on this service, you create a profile of yourself and retain a voicemail number...when someone is interested, you will receive notice of a message in your voicemail box. Okay. I do have lots of stories about this particular service, which I'll share another time....some very erotic....some simple....nearly all of them ultimately going by the wayside. Now this one time.....

Her name was Anne. She was smart and funny. Nice, deep, sexy voice. She found my profile "intriguing"...her word. So I called back and we talked one evening for nearly three hours. Every subject imaginable came up between us, and it was a gratifying call. Eventually, we traded pictures. Mine was my professional headshot; hers was a lovely photo of walking at a local botanical garden. After we got to know each other, talking back and forth for a week or so, I got her to meet me at a restaurant halfway between where she lived and where I live. I got there about ten minutes before Anne, so I sat and waited. Picked up a paper that was nearby.

Then she walked in. Gorgeous, impeccably dressed. My height in her heels. I stood up and offered my hand to her: "Hi...Anne?"

She impulsively reached out and grabbed my hand. As she looked at me....well....it was like one of those moments in school that you remember when you got into trouble with the teacher, so you slinked yourself downward, so as not to feel so bad. "....YOU'RE....." Her grip on my hand became ever so loose....and slimy...."...RON???" I could tell immediately she was not pleased.

We were taken to a table. I pulled her chair out for her to sit down. She didn't even take her coat off as she sat. I tried to engage her in brief discourse, but she wouldn't. She couldn't even look at me...her eyes were down to the table in embarrassment....The waiter arrived with menus and was a real gentleman...."Good evening, folks...May I start you with a drink?" I looked at her. "Anne...?"

For the first time, Anne picked her head up. Looked around, like she didn't want to get caught at something. Looked at the waiter. Finally looked at me, her mouth gaping in wordless wonder.

"I'm sorry......I just can't do this...." And she got up and walked out of the restaurant.

In my own hurt and embarrassment, I looked at the waiter for some kind of guidance. Thank God, he had a good presence of mind. "First date?" "Yes. And apparently the last one..."

"Man, that's tough....Sorry....Sir, lemme buy you a drink."

I got a Scotch on the rocks and sat there. Obviously Anne never got back in contact with me, and that's just as well. But it shows that you can be the most perceptive, intuitive person alive (as I feel I have some of that in me) and still not know the whole story.

Now that was extreme, I'll admit. But this is why one should be prepared for anything in the dating world, especially these days. The vast majority of us seem ill-prepared to view life in any way past our own backyard, our own noses, viewpoints. And now you have an example of why I tout being totally open as the only way to go in life; this story wasn't about sex at all. I don't care HOW uncomfortable you are...at least offer the respect of following through, since you both entered the arena on the same footing. Because even though intellectually I know that little episode was not about me, but about Anne and her own expectations....

...to this day, nearly five years later, it still hurts.

Secrets

Ever had something like this happen to you?...Memorial Day was gorgeous here in Chicago. Temp around 80 and blue skies. I cooked out on my grill and had a quiet, enjoyable day. About 8:00 last evening, I was walking Jake the dog. As I was going by a townhouse building near my house, I heard "OHFUCK!!!" really loudly coming through an open window. So naturally, being the sexual creature I am, I paused to listen...She was getting it really hard and loud, whatever was happening. Lots of ramming bodies together -- your basic fucking sounds, both physically and vocally. Good for her! I must have stood there for five minutes or so on the sidewalk....

Finally a woman came to the window. She saw me standing there and said "Get out of here!" And she slammed the window down and drew the blinds. I heard some chuckling and screaming. And in the sillouette of light, I saw two SETS of breasts. And I smiled to myself. I started clapping my hands and heard a laughing scream through the townhouse.

Secrets.

Passing Fancy

...And so we met in the parking lot under a stark light...She got out of her car, all leggy and hot...Our eyes locked quickly as she strolled toward me...It was around midnight...Just as she had been told, her summer dress was free and open in the soft breeze...our lips barely touched...I was in charge here and I wanted her to feel this deeply...I quietly said "Now..."

She raised her dress without hesitation...I slowly grabbed her hair with my left hand...I put my right hand down under the dress to her pussy...just as I had said, she wore nothing...she was smooth and sexy and as wet as she had ever felt...

I slowly thrust four fingers into her as she lost her breath...I placed her cunt into my hand...not her clit...not a bit of in-and-out with my fingers, but I held her pelvic bone firmly...

And I started shaking it...she was comfortably in my grip...she immediately began to vocalize her pleasure..."OH MY GOD....I'VE NEVER FELT THAT BEFORE....OH FUCK!!!"

I kept shaking her whole being in my hand and she kept her orgasm cumming...I kept soulfucking her that way for what seemed like a half-hour, but in reality was about five minutes...she threw her arms on my shoulders for support....and she kept cumming....she had to go down to her knees in her peach-colored dress...still cumming...her legs had woman juice tracking down to her heels...

Finally we had to stop...

I pulled my hand away from her...her mascara was slowly sliding down her cheeks..."Are you all right?" I asked...she could only nod affirmatively...I gently put my wet, dripping hand on her face to have her feel her sexual spirit...I kissed her easily on her forehead...She smiled...

And I left her there under that light, tending to her own recovery...She stayed on her knees in my rearview mirror, laughing...or crying...I couldn't really tell....

I enjoyed that. I think she did as well...

Ideals

Just for fun...I offer the question: Would you describe your ideal sex partner? And in fairness to all, I will do just that for you...with a couple of codicils. I've discovered in my own life that the ideal changes from time to time, with one consistent view: she needs to be able and willing to try and accept and adjust to as much, as many, as varied a sexual viewpoint, position, experience as a person can do. Other than that, she can be whatever she wants or needs to be....In fact, let me share with you a description of some of the women in my life with whom I have had some kind of extended intimate relationship. I've had many single or weeklong trysts with women, so I don't include those in what you are about to read.

"Danielle", the woman I married way back in the late 70s had a great body. Slim, in shape, perky breasts and a pageboy haircut that made her comfortable. Her problem was that she was so afraid of sexual experimentation that for her, a really kinky thing to do was for me to go down on her. I became a teacher for her in this regard and, even though we divorced after eight years, I know her second husband benefited from her intimacy with me far more than he would have, had they met earlier.

"Jeanne", my first and only real romance from show business, was extremely talented and wanting to please. Another slim, leggy woman with smooth skin and lovely facial features. She was very inexperienced and again learned a great deal from our trysts... including being caught by the local police au natural with me in the high school parking lot (the stock theatre was in a small town in Indiana). She was mortified and didn't pursue the fun with me for the rest of that second summer.

"Katie" was a gorgeous, voluptuous black woman who met my needs perfectly, as I did for her. Thick black hair and breasts to graze on for hours. She was also nearly four inches taller than me. She had the "let's-dive-in" attitude that I dearly love in all people. This was, however, a case of age difference being a catalyst for change (we were 15 years apart, and she had lots of life she wanted to still experience). One of the great fucks of my life for nearly four years. We are still great friends; she now lives in the Big Apple, chasing her dream of being a singer. I'd still fuck her in a heartbeat.

"Anne" was my intellectual equal with an athletic body and Puritanical sexual views. We also lived together four years until her consistency of sexual deprivation (it all had to be her way or no way), coupled with the inevitable growing apart, had us separated both sexually and emotionally. But again, I maintain a solid friendship, as I have with nearly all the women I've know.

Now...here's the physical ideal I want.

I'm 5'7" and love women of all height and weight, so long as care is taken in health and attitude. But for the ideal, I admit to her being around 5'2-5'4. I love breasts -- real breasts with no augmentation, but I would never put any woman down for doing so. Somewhere around 120-130 pounds, so I want her to be physically strong. Love hair of any color, so long as she enjoys me to yank and grab when I want. I am a bit of a stronger partner in bed, so I would want her to be fairly malleable. Very few kinks are unexplored. No jealousy exists between us whatever...she is encouraged to be and chase as many and as much of her desires as she likes, so long as we wake up together, we go to bed together, and we talk about any and all things with open communication. I love a dirty mouth and lots of noise in the bedroom. I love seeing and watching her in the throes of sexual bliss. And she is just as proud to be seen in my presence as I am for her.

Somewhere along the way, this does exists. There are a couple of you out here, friends, who come to the torchlight that I would deeply appreciate experiencing in this regard.

Starting with........:)

The Feeling Is Mutual

I have always enjoyed mutual masturbation as one of my favorite things with a woman. And the more erotic thing to me is to include sharing what has happened during the day...or talking about what's on our minds...or anything that will allow the conversation to treat the fun and eventual orgasm into the daily routine. Since no one really does that, let me share here a moment with my old friend "Katie".

We lived together for about three years. Her family and I are still very close. Sexy, loving, fun African-American girl about 15 years younger than me. One particular evening, in our sexplay, we found our sexual selves facing each other, lying down on the floor, music playing quietly. We had just had dinner and had decided to get off on each other. But we both at the time had killer schedules and as much as we wanted to fuck, we ended up straddling each other, legs entwined on the floor. I was stroking my cock all lubed up, and Katie was rubbing her thick clit with her right hand. We were talking easily about life and our days. Can't remember quite what had happened, but suddenly watching each other get hot, we kept talking....

"So you drove to the club?"

"Yes, and it took forever...the fucking traffic..." She's breathing hard and beginning to fuck herself with two fingers. I poured more lube on and stroked myself a little faster.

"Did Dan finally get there?"

"Yes, after nearly a half hour....fucker...(labored breathing now)...I mean...if I can....get there... through all....the damned tr....traffic downtown...so can...He-e-e-e..." Katie is feeling pretty hot and close to orgasm.

"I had thesammmmme.....same problem getting to ....the theatrrreee....." I'm stroking hard now. Our eyes are absolutely locked and showing each other our heat.

Finally -- I'll never forget this -- Katie start ramming three fingers into her juicy cunt...."He-e-e-sss-just-a-a-a-amotheerrrrr-fucckerrrr.....OH MY GOD!!!!!" And Katie starts cumming hard and jerking that cum out of her body, eyes still locked in mine. And I started my own orgasm right then...shooting my cum all over the floor, her legs, my legs....and it was intense and really hard for both of us. I felt a tear moving down my cheek; I needed the cum that much.

We lay there, legs still wrapped in each other, lying back in recovery...."Jesus, Ron, where the hell did that come from???" I laughed in my own breathless way. Katie got up and went for a warm, wet washcloth and gently cleaned and licked me up. We finished our wine and went to bed.

Never been able to quite repeat that experience, but it turned me into a huge believer into incorporating sex into the list of the day, just like lunch or following a schedule or whatever. A release and an energy boost in a short period of time. The fun was watching each other slowly get to the release, keeping your eyes focused on each other. I wholeheartedly recommend it, friends. The hard part is forcing yourself to continue the conversation until you orgasm. But damn, it's fun getting there....

Women At My Job

I'm in a work situation at present (as a stage manager) where there is an inordinate number of attractive younger women whom I allow myself to fantasize about almost daily right now. My schedule has been so mammothly filled and I've been sucked of energy as of late. But I use these visions to put me to sleep at night or to wake up in the morning. You all know how open I am in my attitudes, and I have to stifle all that right now, because I'm the 'boss'. But damn, there is some real pussy in this particular play that really needs proper attention. One is barely five feet tall with that stout, curvy but still proportionate body that I just love to pound on, and it's obvious that she's never been properly fucked.... Another is Hispanic with a lovely skin tone and an ass that we'd all just LOVE to hold on to .... a third is a taller girl, nearly six feet, one of those women who is so striking and gorgeous and obviously wants that kind of attention... But... Uncle Ron would be considered that 'dirty old man' for taking those kinds of steps. That and the work situation....You would think that in my line of work, a liberal approach to life and love would be available. Not these days...I lament that very much.

I really miss an open, honest exchange right now. So many of you who share time with me here and on your own blogs understand what I'm talking about...the world has grown SO conservative and even afraid of real intimacy (even a real sexual need and subsequent exchange).... and there really are times when age does get in the way.... Now yes, I would prefer someone who understands my own frame of reference in life, so working at it wouldn't be so hard....But in the end, I just know that life would be so much more fun, more profitable, more enjoyable, more everything if we could all just put our stereotypes, our fears aside and just enjoy each other's bodies and minds and company, no matter what the ages are.

I invite your views.

A Quickie...

Good day, all. The light remains on and now I'm back and ready for all of you...

Occasionally I will go to You Porn to see the talent there, to dream of what I might like to have, etc. I have to admit that even I was astounded by a little piece of entertainment called "Alpine Hot Sex". This couple drove their SUV to the edge of a cliff. They prepared to rapell down the side of the rocks and got about halfway down...where they then proceeded to fuck each other. Probably a good 2000 feet in the air, being held only by the hooks that were clinging to their belts. Now I am pretty fearless and will try just about anything. But DAMN.... how do you do that and not lose your concentration? And yes, they did most everything you do on the ground -- face to face, regular and reverse cowgirl, oral...I was impressed. Then they began to make their way down to the ground.

Still...as much as the adventurer in me roots them on...just give me a good pair of hips to hold onto, a dirty mouth and lots of time...that's really all I need...:)